Although divorce can be a healthy option for many couples in New Jersey who are at odds with one another, new statistical data indicates between one-third and 80% of people may ultimately regret the split from their spouses due to unexpected consequences. When partner violence, affairs or infidelity are not involved, many ultimately feel they may have dissolved their marriage for the wrong reasons.
What makes people regret their divorce?
Many professionals try to emphasize the positive aspects of divorce, such as beginning a new life, growing as a person, absence of conflict and similar issues. However, many people underestimate the toll that dissolving their marriage will have on many parts of their life, leading to emotional turmoil. Typical regrets include:
- Long-lasting grief, anger, anxiety, guilt and depression regarding the split
- Immediate and long-term effects on children
- Financial consequence, usually involving a reduced standard of living
- Additional failed relationships
- Loneliness
- Stigma and rejection from friends and family
- Not taking time to think things through
What can you do about regrets?
If you have regrets, you can take steps to ease your feelings. Possibilities involve talking to a therapist and reaching out to your former spouse. Reconciliation may be possible if your ex also has substantial regrets. If reconciliation is impossible, work on your personal growth to find fulfillment and give yourself time to move on.
Divorce always brings uncertainty
The very nature of divorce agreements are complex because they have so many components. You may have to deal with the division of marital property, splitting of retirement accounts, child care and parenting agreements, child support and alimony payments. The longer the marriage, the more complex the dissolution will be.
Even though many couples want to get through the process as quickly as possible, sometimes exploring viable alternatives may yield the best results. If you feel uncertain about whether divorce is the right option, consider undergoing marital counseling first. Doing so can lead to reconciliation but may also lead you to see why going through a divorce may be in your best interests.
