In most shared custody arrangements, the child lives with one parent most of the time. They may spend alternating weekends, holidays or school breaks with the other parent, but for the most part, they live with their custodial parent.
This kind of setup works for most families, and it may be the perfect arrangement for yours. However, as your child grows, so do their needs and wants.
If your child is asking to live with their other parent, it may be confusing or even hurtful to you. While these feelings are valid, it is important to keep their best interests at heart. Consider following these approaches:
Ask them why they want to live with their other parent
Children have varying reasons for wanting to live with the other parent. Most of them may be impractical or brought about by in-the-moment emotions, but others might warrant consideration.
For example, your child may want to go live with their other parent because they’re angry at your rules. Situations like this often require communication and compromise, not relocation.
On the other hand, your child may want to move because of practical reasons, such as transferring to a better school or accessing extracurriculars. Wanting to spend more time with their other parent is also not uncommon, especially if all of you used to live in the same house.
Whatever the case may be, try not to take it personally. Approach the issue with an open mind and let your child speak freely about how they feel.
Consider a temporary modification to your child custody arrangement
If it is in your child’s best interests to spend more time with their other parent, you can consider modifying your child custody agreement—at least temporarily. For instance, you can increase your coparent’s parenting time for, say, three months.
It is best to do this in writing, ideally with the help of a child custody lawyer. They can guide you through the process and help create a parenting schedule that is fair for everyone.
Children often miss whichever parent is not around that much, so a child wanting to move in with their other parent is not all that uncommon. In cases like this, it is still up to you to decide what is best for your child, but don’t forget to take their desires into account.
