What to know about coparenting with a narcissistic ex

On Behalf of | Jun 16, 2022 | Child Custody |

If you’ve recently ended your marriage in New Jersey and your ex is a narcissist, you’ve likely discovered that trying to co-parent with them is next to impossible. Instead of trying to co-parent in the traditional way, you’ll have to establish clear boundaries and legal assistance if necessary. Here are some signs to look out for and possible solutions to consider.

What is co-parenting?

Conventionally, co-parenting occurs when an adult assists the child’s parents will caring for and supporting the child. Close family friends, aunts, uncles, and grandparents can be classified as co-parents. However, the co-parenting concept as it pertains to modern families has only been researched for a few decades.

These days, co-parenting can include child custody rights for one or both parents. If divorcing couples decide to co-parent, they will both be responsible for the child’s school attendance, after-school activities, and doctor’s appointments. Both parents are supposed to contribute to caring for the child, but a narcissist may not do their part to ensure the children are provided for. Narcissists may neglect these duties if they become inconvenient or if you say or do something they don’t like.

Setting boundaries

When it comes to child custody arrangements, it is important that both parents have mutual respect for one another. However, narcissists do not respect boundaries and may ask you to change your schedule to do their share of the parenting. To lessen the chances that the narcissists will take advantage of your time, only provide your work schedule as it pertains to caring for the children.

In a high-conflict divorce, which is common when one spouse is a narcissist, it is important not to set a goal of being friendly with your ex. Chances are you won’t be able to peacefully go on family vacations together or let your ex know right away if you’re dating someone new. Reducing conflict with the narcissist by limiting the information you give can help you get through the divorce as efficiently as possible.

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